I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize