glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
