Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
