you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
