I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
