Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
