remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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