David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
