its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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