i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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