There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
