just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
