Your tits are I can't wait for
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
