They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
