yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
