We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
