fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
