i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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