Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
