Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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