You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
no, he came in my armpit
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
