you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
