Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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