Im at strip club and am horny
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
