I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
