Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
