Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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