Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
