he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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