He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
