At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
