It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
