I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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