he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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