Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
