Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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