some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
