your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just gift wrapped bread.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
