i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
