i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
