I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
