2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
