it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize