i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
