is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
