Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
