My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
