Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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