yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
