And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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