I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
