i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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