It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
