I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
