I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
