i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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