I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
