Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Actions speak louder than pants.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
